Cue the Climactic Apex

Posted on Tue May 11th, 2021 @ 8:25pm by Unawakened Zosia Galantis

Normal. My life is so utterly normal. Boring, predictable, invariable. Void of the excitement I silently crave. I shouldn’t complain, and I know that. I have more in my life to be grateful for then most people. A loving family, decent grades, a vast amount of friends, I could go on but who cares? I sure don’t. That might make me unappreciative, but it’s unlikely anyone would believe that. I play my part too well.

It’s the second semester of my junior year of high school and it couldn’t be more dull. I’ve had the same friends since middle school, none of which I’m close enough to, to consider a best friend. None of them know the real me, how I really feel about my life, and about them. So does that make them acquaintances?

I’ve dated Hayden for almost two years now. He’s the perfect gentlemen. He’s patient and attentive, and there isn’t anything in the world he wouldn’t give me. He walks me to class, holds my hand, treats me with respect no matter whose around. I should be happy to have found someone like him, I should feel lucky.

But I don’t.

Call me selfish. Call me conceded. I couldn't give a shit. I feel like a cast member in a series that should have been canceled ages ago. Like a side character with little to no development or need to even be there. Someone so far from the plot her existence is pointless and often forgotten about. A place holder if you will.

I woke up this morning telling myself today would be different. Chanting it as I went through the motions of my morning routine. As if that would work. As if praying for change but not doing anything to change the circumstances of my life would work.

But it did.